When I die, bury me on the golf course, so my husband will visit.

Unknown Wife


I don’t say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they’d come up sliced.

Author Unknown


I’ve spent most of my life golfing. The rest I’ve just wasted.

Author Unknown


They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken.

Raymond Floyd


The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag stick on top.

Pete Dye (His golf courses reflect this belief!!!)


Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

Jim Bishop


It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

Hank Aaron


Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five.

Paul Harvey


Give me golf clubs, fresh air & a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

Jack Benny


Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Al Boliska


The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

Billy Graham


Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.

Ben Hogan


Go play golf. Go to the golf course. Hit the ball. Find the ball. Repeat until the ball is in the hole. Have fun. The end.

Chuck Hogan


If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

Jack Lemmon


It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Mark Twain


Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.

Harry Vardon


Golf is a game in which one endeavours to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose.

Woodrow Wilson


A golfer’s diet: live on greens as much as possible.

Author Unknown


Gone golfin’ … be back about dark thirty.

Author Unknown


Born to golf ~ forced to work.

Author Unknown


My body is here, but my mind has already teed off.

Author Unknown


Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.

Jimmy DeMaret


May thy ball lie in green pastures… and not in still waters.

Author Unknown


If I hit it right, it’s a slice. If I hit it left, it’s a hook. If I hit it straight, it’s a miracle.

Author Unknown


The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.

George Deukmejian


Golf is a game invented by the same stupid people who think music comes out of bagpipes.

Disgruntled Looser