AN OUTDOORS MAN
During my physical, my doctor asked me about my daily activity level, so I described a typical day to him.
“Well Doc, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake and took four “leaks” behind big trees.”
Inspired by the story, the doctor said, “You must be one hell of an outdoors man!”
“Nah,” I replied, “I’m just a really lousy golfer!”
Another Golf Term?
An interesting fact about Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything for export had to be transported by ship. It was also before the invention of commercial fertilizers, so large shipments of manure were quite common. It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, not only did it become heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by-product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!
Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the instruction ‘ Stow high in transit ‘ on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this “volatile” cargo and start the production of methane.
Thus evolved the term ‘ S.H.I.T., ‘ (Stow High In Transit) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day. You probably did not know the true history of this word. Neither did I. I had always thought it was a golf term.
Book on Golf Etiquette Now being Published: Table Of Contents
Chapter 1 – How to properly line up your Fourth putt.
Chapter 2 – How to hit a Nike from the rough when you hit a Titleist from the tee.
Chapter 3 – How to avoid the water when you lie 8 in a bunker.
Chapter 4 – How to get more distance off the Shank.
Chapter 5 – When to give the Ranger the finger.
Chapter 6 – Using your shadow on the Greens to maximize earnings.
Chapter 7 – When to implement Handicap Management.
Chapter 8 – Proper excuses for drinking beer before 9 a.m.
Chapter 9 – How to urinate behind a 4″ x 4″ post, …. Undetected.
Chapter 10 – How to rationalize a 6 hour round.
Chapter 11 – How to find that ball that everyone else saw go in the water.
Chapter 12 – My favorite chapter is: Why your spouse doesn’t care that you birdied the 5th.
Chapter 13 – How to let a Foursome play through your Twosome.
Chapter 14 – How to relax when you are hitting Three off the Tee.
Chapter 15 – When to suggest major swing corrections to your opponent.
Chapter 16 – God and the meaning of The Birdie-To-Bogey Putt.
Chapter 17 – When to regrip your Ball Retriever.
Chapter 18 – Use a strong grip on the Hand Wedge and Weak Slip on the Foot Wedge.
Chapter 19 – Why male golfers will pay $5.00 a beer from the Cart Girl and give her a $3 tip, but will balk at a $3.50 beer at the 19th Hole and stiff the Bartender.